Art of Seduction
by PenPalsGM
Summary: When Penelope is asked by Spencer to teach him the art of seduction, she of course can't say no. Though while training the genius how to seduce, she may have caught the eye of someone else. Written by PolHop and FreelySheRoams!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi everyone, I am FreelySheRoams and with me is the lovely PolHop and this is our collaboration from our joint account! We hope you like our story, enjoy reading!**

Prologue

" _Someone I couldn't possibly be sexually attracted to."_

Her words kept echoing throughout his mind, and though he knew she was frazzled – having just ran into her ex-boyfriend at the convention – it couldn't negate the fact that the slight insult to his own sex appeal had left the Boy Wonder, hurt and confused.

Hell, the BAU had dealt with a robbery and had almost lost a member of their family today – and yet, her voice continued to haunt his thoughts, causing his mind to make sense of it.

So, he sat at an empty table in the backyard of Rossi's mansion; where all of their closest friends and family had gathered to watch JJ and Will get married. Though the wedding was beautiful and he was beyond happy for his friend, the feeling that he was going to miss out on something – _something_ he couldn't even describe, an emotional awakening of some sort that needed to be experienced – just wouldn't go away.

Having sat there for over an hour he watched the normally bubbly blonde, fuss around the place in a frenzy. Penelope had tried to put on a smile for the sake of her friend, but her eyes continued to dart between Kevin and his date and Morgan and his _new girlfriend_? And the more martinis she consumed, the more she lost the ability to pull off the act.

" _Someone I couldn't possibly be sexually attracted to."_

Not being a fan of alcoholic beverages, Reid guzzled down – his third, or was it his fourth – sugary drink for the night. Though even the potent sweetness couldn't change his sour mood, as the vision of her wearing the Doctor Who cosplay outfit – which had accentuated those perfect curves of hers – danced around his mind like a broken carousel.

He knew it was going to be a long shot, but he had thought today was finally going to be the chance he had been waiting for. Spencer had always had a little crush on the technical analyst – she was quirky and compassionate, the BAU's very own ray-of-sunshine. Though he was a genius after all and never had the courage to flirt with Morgan's 'Baby Girl' – anyone with a pair of eyes would know to stay clear of that sandbox.

However as the years passed, he watched as neither one of them made a move for the other, and now that Garcia was finally single – and maybe because his ego was bruised and his body was coursing with extra endorphin's from watching marital bliss – but he thought they could finally try that _something_ out.

It also played in his favor that Morgan had brought his _new girlfriend_ – Chloe, as his date to the wedding. The dark skinned beauty, with sparkling green eyes and legs-for-days; who worked in the HR department at the FBI, was way younger than the agent. It was an obvious fling; though they had been on several dates already, and the way she dangled on Derek's arm, like a second skin – batting her fake lashes, with a child-like pout; was nauseating, even for Reid.

Normally, if Garcia was feeling down in anyway, Morgan would be right there to pick up the pieces, but not since Chloe showed up. How could the _Don Juan_ of the BAU not realize that their very own tech kitten was completely smitten with him, he would never understand? Someone as vibrant and vivacious as Penelope Garcia, won't stay single for long.

" _Someone I couldn't possibly be sexually attracted to."_

Oh, right! She had shot him down. However, Spencer Reid was a problem solver by nature and he needed to figure out a way to fix this streak of bad luck in the department of – women.

Crushing the can of soda and taking a deep breath, he stood up – making his way through the crowded dance floor, never taking his eyes off his intended target. She was sitting on a bench at the edge of Rossi's property, twirling an olive around the empty glass. It took her a moment to look up – eyes widening at his outstretched hand.

Though her eyes were red and puffy, she seemed genuinely happy to be asked to dance. Taking her out to the middle of the make-shift dance floor, they both started to sway softly to the music. He felt uncomfortable and had even stepped on her toes a few times, but her knowing smile and words of encouragement calmed him down.

"Penelope," she looked up at him, waiting.

 _Just get it over with Spencer!_ He told himself. _Now or never!_

"I want you, to teach me how-…," he swallowed – thoughts colliding at a rapid pace inside his head. Staring at her warm hazel eyes, he exhaled his breath. "To teach me how…to seduce, a woman."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for all of the reviews! We were both very excited with the support.**

 **Please enjoy the next chapter.**

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How could Kevin bring someone to _her_ best friend's wedding? JJ didn't really even like Kevin, who the hell even invited him? How dare he bring a girl with him! Penelope's head was spinning, and it wasn't just from her third, maybe it was fourth martini. She lost count when Kevin had the audacity to walk in with a woman on his arm.

Penelope was completely lost; she had no one to turn to. Normally she would run into the arms of her best friend to seek out the comfort that she so desperately needed at this moment, but even he showed up with his _new_ girlfriend.

Penelope snarled as she gulped her drink down. Her life was a complete mess; she couldn't even say she had a best friend anymore. Derek completely pulled away from her, when she confronted him about his inappropriate relationship with one _Chloe Robinson –_ God, she hated that one…and Penelope Garcia hated no one.

Derek was right, though. Penelope had no say in who he dated. But it was like a slap in the face to bring her here, flaunt her around like some sort of reminder of what their friendship used to be. All she was trying to do was save his career, but no, she was shot down, her opinion completely dismissed, just like he dismissed their friendship now.

"Another one," she said looking at the bartender. _Thank God, this is an open bar,_ she thought as the man handed her a new drink.

She looked back to the dance floor, to the left; there was Kevin and his _date,_ to the right; was Derek twirling around, miss _I'm-better-than-everyone-here_. Why did it have to hurt so badly?

"Penelope,"

She was brought out of her thoughts when the young genius called out her name. She looked him up and down. Spencer was never the confident one, but something was really off about him. He was shifting from foot to foot, like he had and itch he couldn't scratch. In a weird corky way, he was kind of adorable.

 _Adorable? Wow, Garcie, you need to pull back from the drinks._

"I want you, to teach me how…" She watched him trail off again. This was almost painful for her to even watch.

"To teach me how to seduce a woman."

She stared at him, confused at what he had just asked, "What?" _No more drinks for you, Garcia._ She put her half empty drink on the bar top.

"I want… no, Garcia, I need you to teach me how to seduce a woman." He said it so plainly, there was no way she could misconstrue it.

"Spencer, what are you talking about?" Penelope asked, as she placed her hand on his arm.

"Right there," he pointed at her arm, "I need help doing that,"

"Giving comfort?" She raised her eyebrow.

"No… well that too, I guess. I'm not good at any of this," bowing his head in shame. "Penelope, I want to be the person someone finds attractive, I want to be the person that women fantasize about. I want to be the person, someone like _you_ would find sexually attractive." He nearly pleaded with her.

"Sweetie, I'm a little drunk right now. I need to clarify this, are you asking me to seduce you?"

He gave her a wide smile, "If you want too." He joked.

"Spencer, weddings bring out strange emotions in people."

"No, I understand that. I would love for you to seduce me, I think you're so unbelievably beautiful, I'd be lucky to even get a mere hug from you. But I need your help in seducing woman in general. I don't want to end up alone, and I'm tired of everyone looking at me like I'm some kind of child," placing his hand on top of hers. "Penelope, you are the sexiest woman I have ever met, will you please help me?"

You could have knocked her over with a feather; Reid thought she was the sexiest woman he had ever met? Oh God, that was so sweet of him. It might have been the booze working its magic, but she was completely smitten with this situation.

"So, because I pour out sex, you want me to help you?" She cooed at him.

"Please? Penelope, I want to be attractive," moving a little closer. "I want to be able to successfully seduce a woman like _you_."

"Well, be still my beating heart, Spencer Reid, if you talk like that to a woman, you'll do just fine."

"Penelope, I want to be able to dance with a woman and show her that…I want her," his cheeks flushed with the faintest of blushes; eyes darting around the room, narrowing briefly at something behind her before giving Garcia another hopeful look. "I want to be able to- to…um, to flirt…as easily as you and Morgan do," he rushed out, letting out a panicked breath. "Will you please help me?"

Penelope should have been easily able to laugh off the shock dousing her body from that statement, though the painful twinge inside her chest – reminded her of how often _that_ fact; that their flirting, was often brought up between her and Kevin. It was always a major thorn in their relationship, one that she had adamantly denied – though they both knew she was lying – for every tease, gentle caress, and kiss on the forehead from Derek; meant everything to Penelope.

Letting out a breath; blinking away the hurt still coursing through her body, managing to give Spencer a smile – catching the pained look upon his face, which of course broke her generous heart. How could she say no to him? She grabbed her drink from the bar and downed the last of it.

"Okay, my Junior G-Man, you want to learn how to seduce a woman, I'll help." The booze, must have been really talking at this point because she leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, but for some reason she decided to turn her head slightly to give him a peck on the lips.

"Wh-What was that for?" Spencer stumbled over his words.

"First thing, step one…when a pretty girl gives you a kiss, you don't question why. Now come on, we are dancing."

 _To be continued..._

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AN: If you have a moment let us know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N We do not own Criminal Minds! Hello again, we're both so thrilled that people are enjoying this story! Thank you all for the wonderful support!**

 **We hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

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"Gosh, she looks so pretty!" her fruity voice cooed in his ear.

"Yes, she does," there was a lilt of envy in his words that caused his dates sparkling eyes to narrow – following his gaze across the dance floor.

"I meant the bride, Derek," huffing in irritation, taking a big sip of her martini.

"I know," wrapping her in his arms; tearing his eyes off of Penelope to glance quickly at JJ, who was dancing with her husband and son. "They look very happy."

Not wanting a pissed of Chloe, he rocked her back and forth; swaying gently to the soft jazz music – hoping that charming grin of his would get him out of the frying pan.

"You look very pretty tonight too," whispering into her ear, kissing that spot on the back of her shoulders that she couldn't resist.

Turning in his arms; lips pursed together. "And?"

"I love your dress," he pecked her cheek. "And…those heels of yours…," trailing his eyes down those long legs; with the extra four inches, she was almost the same height as him, "should have a warning label."

Chloe rolled her eyes, but giggled – tossing her head back in exaggerated amusement.

"You sure do have a way with the ladies, Mr. Agent," turning in his arms, peppering his neck with sloppy smooches. "We can sneak off to a room," hand grazing up his thigh. "No one will notice," he had to grit his teeth from grimacing; looking away, catching Penelope staring right back at him only to quickly turn around and order another drink.

"How 'bout we dance?" he lowered his voice, grabbing her hand before she could protest.

Derek's shoulders slumped with tension as he twirled her around the floor; making sure he always ended up facing the bar – needing to keep his Baby Girl in his sights as he watched her downward spiral into self-pity; regretting once again having invited his date to this event.

Today had been rough, and though two of his friends had tied the knot – his mind was swimming with the pain of Emily leaving, and the fact that Penelope was obviously hurting over Lynch –glaring at her ex; who had brought his own date to the wedding. If this wasn't a joyous event, he would punch the weasel.

Which brought him back to Chloe; who he really liked, the last few months had been practically hassle free – but tonight, he needed to fully be there for his family and he couldn't do that with Chloe dangling on his arm; pouting every time he left her side.

He stiffened when she rested her head in the crook of his neck, rubbing her fingers against his chest; clutching the smooth material of his suit jacket. "Thanks for inviting me tonight," smiling up at him. "I'm really having fun."

And now…he felt like an ass. His already foul mood, dampening further.

"I'm glad you came," and he was, she was a nice girl – very sweet, and _nice_.

That throaty laugh filtered through his ramblings and his eyes shot up, instantly landing on Penelope, eyebrows arching as he spotted Reid holding out his hand, eyes narrowing when she agreed to dance.

Shaking the nasty thoughts that flashed in his mind of what he would do to her 'Boy Wonder' if he didn't keep those hands to himself.

 _Geez, Morgan…relax man_. He really needed to tamp down that green monster roaring inside of him. Grateful that the music had picked up, allowing him to dance with more gusto; leading them across the dance floor – you know, in case Penelope needed him.

"Ow!" she shrieked, hoping on one foot. "Derek, you're not even paying attention!"

"Oops," he mumbled out, wiping his forehead. Internally groaning when he caught Penelope's amused smirk; of course she would see him step on his date's foot, looking like a fumbling idiot.

 _Smooth, Morgan_.

"It's okay," she giggled. "You'll just have to make it up to me later," purring as she brushed her fingers underneath his shirt.

"What the… _fuck_!" he shouted; blanching at Chloe's hurt expression and the stares of the people dancing around them, but he couldn't find a reason to care since all he could see was Penelope kissing Reid – Spencer Reid; the BAU's PhD extraordinaire…on the mouth.

And not a little peck either, no – _that_ was a kiss!

"What!" she gritted out.

"Huh," realizing they had stopped dancing, and were causing a scene – swallowing his tongue, trying to think his way out of this situation.

* * *

Penelope snapped her head after she heard Derek's outburst. She felt her heart constrain as she saw the look of disgust on his face. _What could she not kiss someone?_

She didn't understand the look that ran across his face. Why did it even matter to him? He had barely talked to her in months. She huffed before looking back at Reid whose cheeks were crimson as the guests of the wedding were all staring in the direction that caused Derek's outburst.

"Hey Junior G-Man, don't look at them," she encouraged and she grabbed one of his hands to place it around her waist so they could continue their dance.

"Maybe we should sit this one out?" he asked, trying to move her off the dance floor and away from the prying eyes – since the whole team, including the happy couple, were now staring at him and Penelope.

"If we must. Not only am I going to teach you how to seduce a woman, we are also gonna work on you not caring about what other people think," grabbing his hand, pulling him off the dance floor; she pushed him down onto a nearby chair.

Reid was taken aback when instead of sitting next to him, she sat directly onto his lap. He had to suppress a groan. Did he not just tell her he thought she was beautiful? And now he was going to have to bite back this feeling.

"Am I too heavy?" brows knitted in embarrassment, as she felt Reid stiffen.

"No, not at all. I just wasn't expecting you to sit on my lap, that's all," he said, reassuring her.

"Boy Wonder, I am trying to get you used to touches. What if we are out at the bar with the team and a cute little thing decides to sit on your lap. What are you gonna do?" she asked him a smile spreading across her face. The alcohol was defiantly having a strong effect on her still.

He blushed again not knowing how to answer.

"Penelope, can I have this dance?"

Penelope turned to see Morgan reaching his hand out to her. She cocked her head to the side looking at him as if he had two heads. So now he wanted to talk to her? Nope! Not gonna happen.

"Sorry Morgan," pointing behind him, "Don't think your date is too keen on the idea," She watched as Derek turned to look at Chloe who was staring at him wide-eyed. After Derek had seen Penelope sit on Reid's lap he had to go and investigate so he left his girlfriend on the dance floor.

"Anyway, I can't. I need to head home. Reid and I have a big day planed tomorrow," looking back at Reid; giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You and Reid?" Derek asked completely dumbfounded.

"And Henry," Reid said, "we're taking Henry to the beach tomorrow. He's under Pen and I's care until the happy couple comes back."

"When do you call her Pen and not Garcia?" Derek demanded.

"That's none of your business, Morgan," Penelope glared at him; trying to stand up, but stumbling a little.

Reid instantly grabbed her, safely pulling her back into his lap, "I think I should take you home, Pen," Reid said, helping her steady herself.

"Yeah, I think you should. Don't forget to pack some books you can read to Henry at night, Hot Stuff _number two_ ," she giggled. "Thanks for agreeing to spend the whole week at my house while we watch Henry."

Reid helped Penelope onto her feet and guided her towards the exit. It didn't go unnoticed the expression that was still plastered on Morgan's face. His eyes wide, his mouth agape. Having Penelope teach him how to seduce a woman was defiantly going to be fun.


	4. Beach Day

**A/N: We do not own Criminal Minds. Ahhh! So this was 100% my fault (PolHop) I had been working on this chapter forever. So apologies for the long wait. Freely has been so patient with me. So here you go :)**

 **A/N2: FreelySheRoams here! I totally might have had this for a week after PolHop gave it to me to work on, but we can still blame her for it being late okay!? ;)**

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"Henry, sweetie, you need to come back," Penelope called out as Henry started running towards the water. "I need to put sunscreen and your floaties on you."

Henry stopped running and turned back to Penelope who was sitting up on her knees on the towel she had just put down. Spencer was next to her getting drinks out of the cooler, and trying to finish setting up the umbrella. She couldn't help but glance over at Spencer. After last night and his request, she started seeing him a little differently. Not so differently that she was attracted to him but enough to see any woman would be lucky to have him. He was wearing a black tee shirt with a silly scull on it along with red swim shorts. Her curious mind had always wondered what he looked like without his shirt on and she couldn't wait to find out.

"There you go!" she cheered, as she quickly finished putting sunscreen on Henry. "How about you play in the sand while Uncle Spencer and I get everything ready, okay?"

"Okay Auntie Penelope," Henry plopped right down in the sand and started playing with the shovel and pale Spencer had put out for him when they first arrived.

Reid watched as Penelope stretched her arms high above her head, then stood up and took that big floppy white hat off, only to reach for the hem of her cover-up and pull it over the two loose braids that hung over her shoulders – revealing her tight turquoise 1940's style swimsuit.

His mouth suddenly became parched; struggling to swallow his heavy tongue – you could have knocked over the genius with a feather as he tried to discreetly take in the sight of her enticingly large breasts that seemed to be hiked to illegal proportions.

Clearing his throat, quickly turning around to face Henry. "Hey buddy, do you want to get in the water?"

"Yeah!" Henry cheered, jumping to his feet.

"Wait, Spence!" Penelope yelped; getting his attention, waiting until they locked eyes before continuing. "Can you put some sunblock on my back for me please?"

Spencer gulped; praying he didn't seem too eager when he nodded his head and practically ran over. Grabbing the lotion that she was holding up, only to fumble it a few times before taking a shuddering breath; squirting some of the cool lotion into his hand.

As his nervous energy flared to life so did his habit of prattling about statistics, and he had to bite his lip to keep from spewing off tedious facts about the UV index and causes of sunburns, focusing instead on Garcia in front of him as he reached a shaking hand forward to her lily white skin.

* * *

Derek and Chloe were making their way over the sand dune. He knew it was wrong to encroach on Penelope and Spencer's time with Henry…but he had to know what was going on. _Was she dating him?_ And if she was, why in the hell did neither of them tell him?

He didn't like the idea of them dating; foolishly thinking she would never be attracted to a guy like Spencer, not that there was anything wrong with him but she never seemed to swoon over anyone like him before. She always used to swoon over men like… him.

Damn it. What the hell did he do? He hadn't spoken to her in months. He didn't even know what happened. They just fell apart. He made it to the top of the sand dune and instantly spotted Penelope. His Baby Girl wasn't hard to miss – holding this big floppy white hat in her hands and wearing a tight swimsuit that hiked up those glorious assets of hers, which he could clearly see from where he was standing.

What he didn't like was Reid moving his hands all over her, lathering her in suntan lotion and the moment his fingers disappeared under the strap of her top, he felt his jaw tick and his hands fist tightly against his sides.

"Oh look, baby," Chloe started. "Isn't that your friend, Spencer?"

He tried to act like it was the first time seeing them. "I guess it is. Let's go over and say hello."

* * *

"Thanks honey," Penelope said as Spencer finished lathering her back. "You ready to get in the water with Henry?" she smiled, placing the hat back on her head.

"Yeah," he said taking off his shirt.

Penelope let out a low whistle. "Damn. I _always_ knew you had a little six-pack. You act all weak and stuff but I knew you had something underneath all those sweater vests my Boy Wonder," she teased.

Instantly coloring after her remark; he was about to say something when Henry grabbed onto his swim trunks. "Look its Uncle Derek!"

Spencer and Penelope instantly turned towards Derek and Chloe, who were now making their way over.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Penelope huffed in annoyance.

"Isn't hell a bad word?" Henry asked.

Penelope gasped and dropped to her knees, grabbing Henry and pulling him into her arms. "Yes it is kiddo. And I didn't mean to say it. We never repeat that word, okay?"

"You've had the kid for one day and you're already teaching him your wicked ways, Garcia?" Derek joked, coming to a stop right next to them.

"What are you two doing here?" Spencer asked as he bent down to pick up Henry.

"Derek decided this morning he wanted to go to the beach, and so here we are," Chloe giggled. "Mind if we crash next to you guys?"

"No," Penelope bit back her anger. "The more the merrier."

She turned to Spencer and Henry. "Let's go," Taking off running towards the water, Spencer following right behind her with Henry in his hands.

"I'm gonna go for a few laps. Are you gonna sun bathe?" Derek asked, looking at his girlfriend.

"Yeah, I wanna work on my tan," she winked, blowing him a kiss before laying down on her beach towel.

Derek took off his shirt and ran after Penelope to the water. He wanted to talk to her and he needed to do it now. He was not okay with everything that was going on. He watched as Penelope splashed in the water while Spencer picked Henry up over his head and then fell backwards into the waves with him.

 _That should be Penelope and me!_ he thought as he made his way to the water.

"Mind if I join you?" he smirked, swimming up to Penelope who now had Henry in her arms as he tried to climb up her back to get on her shoulders.

"Uncle Derek!" Henry hollered as he used Penelope's body to propel himself off of her and into Derek's arms causing Penelope to fall backwards.

Derek started to go to her to make sure she was okay, but all of a sudden Spencer swooped in and pulled Penelope up. "You okay, Pen?"

"Sure am, handsome."

"Are you two dating?" Derek growled as he threw Henry in the air, getting ready to catch him.

"What's dating?" Henry asked as he landed in Derek's arms.

"It's nothing you need to worry your little head about," Penelope cooed, glaring at Morgan as she reached over for the boy and pulled him into her arms. "Do you wanna go look for seashells with me and Uncle Spencer? Maybe we can find some really nice ones for your Mom and Dad?"

"Yay! Can we get really big ones?"

"Depends on what we find. Statistically the bigger ones are going to be by the Jetty," Spencer started but Penelope pulled him over and placed a finger to his lips silencing him.

"Yes Henry, we can get the really big ones," she looked back at Spencer. "I'm sure our stuff will be fine seeing as Chloe is…" Penelope peered her head around the shocked face of Derek to look at their stuff. "… what appears to be sunbathing topless on the beach."

"Classy," she mumbled under her breath.

Spencer took her hand along with Henry's and started making their way over to the Jetty leaving a stunned Derek Morgan in their wake.

* * *

"Why do you think he is even here?" she groused as they searched for shells with Henry.

"I have no idea," Spencer answered, kicking his feet around the wet sand.

"Well, it doesn't matter. We came here today to have a good time and to teach you some lessons," dark lashes batting at him as she tossed him a dazzling grin.

"Umm… hey Pen, do you think it would be okay to not tell people you are teaching me how to…" he looked at Henry "… you know? I just don't want anyone to tease me."

Penelope shook her head. She knew exactly what Spencer was referring to. If Derek got wind of this, he would never let the poor kid live it down and she wasn't okay with the way he always teased Spencer to begin with.

"Sure, honey bun," she told him excitedly. This was just what she needed. She needed a distraction from Morgan _and_ Kevin. Both of them had wrecked enough havoc upon her heart for one lifetime. "How about we pretend I'm your girlfriend and we can start acting like a couple."

"I don't know…how to act like…a couple," he mumbled; feeling that familiar blush, heat his face.

"I'll teach you," she told him. "When we get back to the towels, first things first: when you sit down, I'll sit in between your legs."

"Y-You'll what?" he stuttered.

"We need to look like a couple and what better way to start? You also need to get comfortable with affection," she teased him.

"B-But Morgan is going to be there," glancing back towards their stuff, spotting Derek's heated gaze even at a distance.

"Who cares what Morgan thinks. He's got little Miss Perfect at his side. They will probably be off in the water anyway so he's not going to care," she shrugged her shoulders.

Spencer nodded his head, but he wasn't so convinced that Morgan wasn't going to care. You didn't have to be a profiler to see the signs of jealousy last night at the wedding along with just now in the water. Heck, the man even showed up at the beach today.

 _You know what?_ He thought to himself. _Penelope deserves someone who will love her and treat her right and if me making Derek jealous finally get's him to see what is right in front of him, so be it. Penelope needs to be happy and If I can help her get her happiness than so be it…_ he then sighed which caused Penelope to look at him. _Even if it's not with me._


End file.
